Online Dating For Seniors / A Successful First Date

A Successful First Date

The rules of dating have not changed much over the years. The purpose of a first date is and always has been a way of determining whether or not a second date is likely. A first date is not a make or break type of deal. If the pairing does not work out, the only thing that has been lost is time. If the time spent on the first date was even a bit enjoyable, then nothing, really, was lost.
You may have been out of commission for awhile and it’s scary to think of going back into the dating pool. Seniors aren’t the only ones who feel this way, so just relax and be yourself.
A first date is one of the most nerve-wracking aspects of dating at any age. If you’re 50+ and just starting to date again after a few years or a few decades, however, the uncertainty about where to go, what to wear, and what to talk about can seem almost insurmountable.
You wonder whether your date will like you, whether you’ll like him or her, and how much dating etiquette has changed since the last time you were out there.

When organizing that first date, try to think of activities that you would both enjoy doing together. You could plan a romantic picnic for two, visit a local art gallery, attend a play or concert or play golf or hike if you both like physical activities. A visit to a local winery makes a lovely afternoon as do book browsing and coffee if you both enjoy reading.

Maybe an afternoon matinee at the movies would fit you both, but couple it with an early or late lunch depending on the movie time. You want your first date activities to encourage conversation because, after all, the purpose is to see if you want a second date.

Check with your local senior center and see if they have any activities planned that you and your date would enjoy. Many have organized day trips or dances specifically for senior singles. Don’t make the date too complicated or jam packed with activities. Make it easy and enjoyable for both of you!

Be sure to have a backup plan in case the original one doesn’t work out. If you’ve planned to meet at a local outdoor music festival, but rain postpones it, agree to meet at the nearby restaurant instead.

You should initially plan for a shorter date. One to two hours is sufficient. If things are going well, you can always extend the date, but there’s no need to try and map out your whole lives together on the first date. You don’t want to be stuck in an all-day event if you realize five minutes into the date that this person is wrong for you.

Be specific on a dress code for where you will be going. A cocktail dress for a fast food joint would just be awkward. A T-shirt and jeans for a four-star restaurant would just be inappropriate. It can be embarrassing when one person shows up in dress clothes and the other in casual.

Compliment your date, but don’t overdo it. Everyone has something appealing about them – find that one thing and comment about it. A few nice words can make a person feel special, but persistent comments about looks, body, etc. can just be annoying.

Balance your talking with listening. The purpose of this meeting is to get to know each other a little better. You don’t want to dominate the conversation with talk about yourself. Learn to listen and offer up details about your own life – just not too many!

Don’t compare your date with your prior partner. Everyone has their own endearing qualities and no one will be quite like the one you are now without. Look for those good qualities in the person you’re with.

The senior years don’t give you the right to be boring. You have a lot to offer and a lot to share. Be sincere, honest, and regain that charm you had when you dated as a young person.

And remember, it’s OK these days to kiss on the first date. Avoid sex, however. While young people might think that’s alright, sex on the first date remains tacky and inappropriate.

Men, try ending the date first and do it politely, though make sure that you show you're interested. This will make you stand out.

You may want to send an e-mail or instant message directly after the date ends just to say “thanks”. Something short and sweet is fine – “I had a great time – thanks so much!” will suffice. However, if the date wasn’t what you wanted, just stay away from the contact. No need to string the other person along down a dead-end road.

Women, don't wear anything provocative or too sexy. This sounds like an old cliché but first impressions last. Your date won't know anything about you except for how you look and how you behave. He will take you at face value and giving him the wrong impression on what sort of person you are is not something you want to do.

Try and wear clothing that makes you confident and that you are comfortable wearing. It will be uncomfortable enough without worrying about that tightness around you waist or the itchy necktie.
Ask your date about themselves. A healthy interest in getting to know your date is a good sign to show him/her. This means that you want to learn about him/her and think of your date as an interesting person.
Remember, the most interesting conversationalists are those who ask about others. Great topics are work, hobbies and sports. Just keep it light and conversational.
Try not to overdo the perfume or the cologne. If it’s too strong, the scent can be quite distracting. It's very hard to complete an evening out with your date dazed by the smell.
Mouthwash is important. Also, brush your teeth and bring a couple of mints if you're eating out.

Always remember... have fun and be yourself!

Though it may seem a bit intimidating to return to the social scene after many years, it can be a fun and rewarding experience for those in search of companionship. Just remember to find something you enjoy and odds are you’ll meet other dating senior singles that share many of your interests and have a great first date!

What do you do if a date goes wrong?

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